Bara (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} stelpa) wrote,@ 2009-01-30 19:17:00 |
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Snow
There are certain myths that are very difficult to disprove. One of these is that cold places, snow and frost, are somehow enjoyable or romantic. This is the delusion maintained by those who do not experience the petty everyday nuisances of snow and frost. However, it is a delusion which I do, from time to time, participate in, usually from the comfortable warmth of my bedroom, and I have to admit, sometimes it is quite beautiful.
I'm snug and warm in my room at the family house, shared this weekend only with my brother and sister as my parents are participating in some religiosity or another up in the secluded places where such things are usually performed. Though I will undoubtedly "waste" a good deal of my time in the World of Warcraft, other activities have also been planned. I'm just glad that the weekend is here, as I am exhausted after another busy week, very little sleep and a persistent and achy flu. I am tempted to participate in a little Bacchanal religiosity of my own tomorrow evening, if circumstances allow, but I'll be satisfied with anything as long as I get a bit of space and time to myself. I am so harassed by my own impatience that it is difficult to stop thinking about all the things I have to do and just... relax...
I've done most of them, by the way. Things are pretty much set. All is in order. I can kick back and breathe and just... live this new life that I've started. But with the January craziness behind me, it's an odd change of pace. I need to write and sort my thoughts - I'd all but forgotten my own tools for sorting through my thoughts and realising my emotions, having laid them aside out of fear (though of course I shouldn't have. Hindsight and all that.) It's odd to pick them up again, so very familiar but so long unused.
I need a pair of very big boots.
I feel a bit like a wild animal sometimes these days. The fight or flight response springs up out of nowhere, sending my pulse racing for no good reason. I'm re-learning to be free. It is no easy thing, to tell you the truth. But with a shake of the head and a bit of willpower, I quell the fright and embrace it. And i t makes my heart sing.
There are certain myths that are very difficult to disprove. One of these is that cold places, snow and frost, are somehow enjoyable or romantic. This is the delusion maintained by those who do not experience the petty everyday nuisances of snow and frost. However, it is a delusion which I do, from time to time, participate in, usually from the comfortable warmth of my bedroom, and I have to admit, sometimes it is quite beautiful.
I'm snug and warm in my room at the family house, shared this weekend only with my brother and sister as my parents are participating in some religiosity or another up in the secluded places where such things are usually performed. Though I will undoubtedly "waste" a good deal of my time in the World of Warcraft, other activities have also been planned. I'm just glad that the weekend is here, as I am exhausted after another busy week, very little sleep and a persistent and achy flu. I am tempted to participate in a little Bacchanal religiosity of my own tomorrow evening, if circumstances allow, but I'll be satisfied with anything as long as I get a bit of space and time to myself. I am so harassed by my own impatience that it is difficult to stop thinking about all the things I have to do and just... relax...
I've done most of them, by the way. Things are pretty much set. All is in order. I can kick back and breathe and just... live this new life that I've started. But with the January craziness behind me, it's an odd change of pace. I need to write and sort my thoughts - I'd all but forgotten my own tools for sorting through my thoughts and realising my emotions, having laid them aside out of fear (though of course I shouldn't have. Hindsight and all that.) It's odd to pick them up again, so very familiar but so long unused.
I need a pair of very big boots.
I feel a bit like a wild animal sometimes these days. The fight or flight response springs up out of nowhere, sending my pulse racing for no good reason. I'm re-learning to be free. It is no easy thing, to tell you the truth. But with a shake of the head and a bit of willpower, I quell the fright and embrace it. And i t makes my heart sing.
